Is this the End…? πŸ’ͺ🏻πŸͺπŸ¦‹

Lately I haven’t been feeling inspired to write, I have a bout of writers block. I have been contemplating finishing up the Tough Cookie Blog completely and wondering if maybe it has served its purpose, was it for my healing, for the transition I struggled with in moving from Abu Dhabi back home, in facing my mother’s grief, admitting my pain and hurt surrounding my adoption and birth parents, the battle with my mental health and old, debilitating wounds? It certainly served as an outlet for emotions that had been suppressed and locked up for years, it gave me the platform to hear my authentic and honest voice fully for the first time ever. What an important and crucial piece of my journey and path it has been. One I started over 3years ago!

I have shared myself wholeheartedly, opened up about the pieces that I believed were my darkest secrets, shameful stories and parts that I had labelled as broken, defective and wrong. How Wrong I was. There is NO part of me that is shameful, wrong, defective, ugly or broken. This is what my writing has helped me to see. The Tough Cookie helped me to hear those untrue beliefs, that old story that I had stuck on repeat constantly playing in the background. The demo was a dud! I had to rewrite the lyrics and hear the new melody that was reality, that was my true sound and rhythm in life. But I didn’t know it. I had to feel myself, my beat, learn my steps and find out for myself. I had to stop dancing to other’s beats and rhythms, I had to trust my own path, my own song and hear it within my soul.

This has been one of the hardest things I had to learn how to do, and to follow through on it has been a rollercoaster. One ride I wanted to jump off at so many points, and undoubtedly I still will want to in the future too. Life is a rollercoaster it can uplift you with a rush of exhilaration, or leave you feeling like you’re plummeting into a dark hole. It can be sensational yet utterly shit! What I have learned is how to steer myself and trust the route I’m taking on this more fully. Even those bumpy parts as uncomfortable they can be usually do have significance and some meaning behind them (as difficult as that can be to see and often never visible to the human eye) there has to be some reason. My faith in God helps me to believe in that higher plan that is already pre-orchestrated and laid out for us. How can you explain ALL those little and big coincidences that happen to us all in life if there wasn’t some truth in this?

So right now I am also trusting my gut that a break is needed from the world of blogging and social media with The Tough Cookie, my sense is that this is a time for me to immerse myself fully within my own connectedness, developing my awareness within to a deeper level and to focus on myself, my goals and aspirations. I have shared so much of my past, my present and my future vision that it is now time to be that bit more selfish with my time! From the Camino one massive lesson I gained was the importance of taking that solitude, that time out to hear, see, touch and smell what was hidden, blocked and numbed by the busyness of life, of our thoughts and those all too familiar stresses!

For now I sign off with much love and gratitude to all my fabulous Tough Cookies out there, I’m sure you’ve not heard the last of me…. And sure one goal is to get back to this autobiography I had started πŸ‘πŸ’ͺ🏻πŸͺπŸ™‹πŸ»πŸŒΈπŸ’œ

Love Deirdre x

“A Minute

A Second

Words Used

With no ‘Presence’!

TIME we Think

We’ve Got

So Much

We Put it Off

Till Tomorrow

Then the Sorrow!

Time is not Eternal

It Runs Out

There’s No Doubt!

Seize the Day

Trust what YOU Say

It’s Simple if you

Pray &

Follow YOUR WAY!

Tough Cookie