Does talking things through really solve everything?
I had this discussion with a friend recently about whether or not talking about issues from one’s past and present really heals and eliminates the problems. I believe talking is one of THE most crucial and beneficial means of expressing oneself and identifying what is holding you back from fully being/expressing who YOU are.
Yes being a teacher I’m aware that not all people are able to express themselves verbally and that people learn/communicate through a variety of mediums. Use any medium to begin expressing who you really are and to unlock some of those things that were locked away.
From a personal viewpoint, I had reached a stage in my life where I needed to talk, but talk to someone that was removed from certain situations, who didn’t personally know me and who was professionally trained to listen.
Approximately 3 years ago I went for my first counselling session. I felt life was getting on top of me a bit, my worries and fears were consuming my mind and I needed ‘help’ in normalising my thoughts and advice as to how to overcome certain situations. I went to around 6 sessions with this particular therapist and looking back & reflecting I don’t believe I gained much help. I had no previous experience to go by so I didn’t realise that it wasn’t benefitting me! There was talk but it was predominately a one-sided talk. I thought perhaps counselling was literally where I would go into a room and spill out all my thoughts and that the function of the therapist was to listen. Thankfully I soon saw sense and knew that this person wasn’t for me, I need there to be a two way communication system!
Before I left for the UAE a friend of mine put me in touch with another counsellor. I decided to give it a go and I HAVEN’T looked back since. I reconnected with this person upon my return from the UAE and the help and support they have given me is immeasurable. I couldn’t imagine how I would have become who I am today without their support, guidance and knowledge. I’m lucky enough to have found someone who I connect extremely well with, where there IS a two way conversation and where I view them as a friend and not as a therapist.
It still baffles me as to why there is such a stigma and hush hush about the fact that people go to counselling/therapy. Is it not just talking? Do some of us not talk everyday to friends/colleagues/family members? It’s no different it’s just talking! The one difference I do find is the person is not involved in my experiences personally and at times opinions that are emotionally unattached are what we need. We need someone to point out logically certain reflections/opinions.
To conclude, one should not be afraid to go to counselling or any other form of therapy if it benefits you. It’s a sign of strength and in my opinion a very healthy sign! We all have struggles that we’ve faced or inevitably will face.
“Don’t bottle things up inside, go talk and release the cap on that bottle, so they can’t hide!” (Deirdre Ward)