Fight the FEAR 💪🏻🌟

Does FEAR of Failure & the Unknown Hold you back? Are you afraid to give it a go incase you let someone down or more importantly Yourself?

.

I had signed up for a Half Marathon last weekend. I had it booked over a month ago. I was really contemplating cancelling it as I had been unwell & hadn’t trained very much. I hadn’t gone past 10miles in training so I really didn’t feel confident to be able to reach the 13mile mark. I was afraid of failing.

Then I thought about it & decided that I wouldn’t be failing, I’d go & remove any pressure on myself, that I’d enjoy the trip to Connemara & do the best I could. A friend of mine had also signed up so it was also going to be a sociable trip of catching up with great friends. I had been working & studying constantly the last few weekends so I knew I needed a little break away!

.

Once I removed all pressure or targets from myself I didn’t feel as scared or worried about the race. My goal was to try to keep jogging without stopping. Mind you I did stop once during a never ending hill! In the past that would have even eaten me up! I have noticed that I’m not as hard on myself, I’m acknowledging my efforts & ability much more & I’m proud of myself for deciding to Try rather than Avoid! It really is Mind over Matter & Self-Chatter is crucial.

.

Ways I got by:

.

.

*Positive Self-Talk: What we tell ourselves really does affect what we believe & how we feel. At times when I felt tired or unsure if I’d make it through I repeated positive mantras to myself such as “I am strong, I am fit, I am fast, I am doing this” It helped me to keep believing in myself when all too often that doubting voice can creep in & tell me I’m not good enough.

.

.

. *My Why: During it I kept the vision of the end Feeling in sight. I know the buzz I get after a race & the sense of achievement I feel. I kept connecting with that & visualising what the end line would look like & more crucially what it would Feel like.

.

.

. *Gratitude: I know there is a LOT of talk out there about being Grateful & having this ‘Attitude of Gratitude’. Again there is Truth in what they say! I dedicated a mile to someone in my life. It kept me focused.

#nofear #goals

SMILE 🙌🏻😃

Do we take enough time to focus on what makes us happy and brings a smile to our face? I often wonder if we put as much effort and energy at times into focusing on the things, people, experiences and memories that bring a smile to our face rather than complaining about the weather, the traffic, relationships, finances etc whether we would begin to feel better and as a result happier?

Over the weekend while reading I read the question ‘what are ten things that bring a smile to your face?’

Ashamedly I had to stop and think and I’ll be honest it didn’t come easy to me at first. Why? Do I not have many areas of my life that will give me that feel good factor? Why was it so difficult for me to think of 10? Then I nearly got into a panic and I certainly wasn’t feeling good!!!

I took the time out to reflect and wonder about what 10 things/people/places etc bring a smile to my face. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Adventures

I love hitting the road, going off on a little exploration and adventure to a place I’ve never been before. I really feel free when surrounded by and immersed in nature. It is one place that I feel relaxes me when I can hear the birds singing, feel the fresh air on my skin and also getting exercise while exploring.

2. Family

I don’t get to see my niece and nephews very often as they live in Glasgow but these kiddos certainly bring a smile to my face. There’s nothing better than releasing your inner child and enjoying fun and play. No better way than to join them! Yes I am a Play Therapist at work and you might wonder is that not what I do every day, however Therapy is a different story, you’re not playing as such as you’re facilitating a much deeper process of healing and helping support the child within their play. When was the last time you got down on the floor and played?!

3. Friends

Where would I be without my dear friends to help bring a smile to my face?! Especially on those days when all you feel like doing is cry!! I’d be lost without some really special friends that I have to listen, care, laugh and at times lean on.

4. Exercise

Although at the time of exercising I may look like I’m far from smiling, It always helps to cheer me up and feel happier. I’m very fortunate to be able to move and exercise. I know at times I complain about health issues and how I used to be able to run faster or longer etc however I try my best to feel gratitude for having the ability to exercise and to be healthy enough to do so. This brings a smile and even during the ‘pain and torture!’ at times there’s a laugh, a giggle and a smile with those around you!

5. Faith

My Faith makes me smile because there are plenty of moments that just seem to ‘fit’, to fall into place and as if the Universe has responded to my calls!! I also know that my prayers are answered and that the angels, God & Our Lady respond to my calls. They may not always deliver things in the way I have asked or pleaded for however I trust (most of the time!! It’s not an easy task!) that they are guiding me and know what’s best for me and my life.

6. Confidence

When I’m feeling confident, powerful and attractive! When my self image is positive and loving I smile. Surely we all smile when we feel good about ourselves, perhaps we’ve achieved something, fit into that dress we have been aiming for, got asked out on a date, gave a presentation. I know my confidence waxed and wanes, goes up and down and it depends on whether I feel capable, worthy and accepted a lot of the time. If I’ve achieved something like when I won Donegals Best Business Idea I felt like I could soar and reach all my goals, then other days you feel like that is all a dream and that you may never get there. That feeling of being powerful and big enough to surpass all your dreams gives me the biggest smile! I know I will 🙋🏻💪🏻

7. MusicMusic fills my heart with joy! I love listening to Spotify blaring in my car, singing my heart out and at times ‘escaping’ life to the rhythm and lyrics of a song! It certainly brings a smile to my face. Although I’ve also been known to shed an odd tear at some music too!!

8. Giving

It might sounds clichéd but it always brings a smile to me when I can give myself to others whether that be time, love, skills, brains etc! I also love to see other people giving to help others out, to brighten someone else’s day. There is something infectious when you see others sharing a tender moment, crying with joy, giving a loving embrace etc.

9. Being Creative

I LOVE to draw and paint, I find it so relaxing and therapeutic! I haven’t taken the time to sit and draw in ages. Also being creative within my writing, I love to write poems and writing these blog posts help me to smile. Even if I’m writing a blog that is full of sadness and pain after releasing it through my writing I usually tend to feel a whole lot brighter. If I feel that my sharing a piece of me may help just one other person I smile!

10. Books

New Books make me smile! I get so excited when I read something new that helps me to feel inspired, creates wonder and reflection. Yes I’m a deep thinker and it’s one of my qualities that I love. In my opinion we just exist if we don’t question some of our beliefs, attitudes and behaviours!

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading 10 things that make me smile and I urge you to take some time out of your busy schedule to notice 10 things that bring that all important smile to your face ☺️♥️

Time for Tea & a Chat 🙋🏻☕️

Who would you pick, if you could choose anybody to sit with, have a cuppa with and a chat? Would it be somebody you miss? Someone you idolise? Somebody you’ve left things with on bad terms? Somebody you’ve lost? WHO?

For me my initial instinct was to imagine having a cuppa with my Mam again but after rethinking it, she is always with me, every second of the day, sending me signs, feeling her presence so therefore knows what’s going on in my life. Instead I have chosen my birth parents. WHY? So that I CAN ‘let go’, stop living in the Past, focus on the ‘here & now‘ and the Future. I’m excited for my life to come, to keep pursuing my dreams, meet new people, fall in love, get married, have a family, make & share memories with those special people already in my life and most importantly have no regrets! So the kettle is boiled & we’re ready to chat!

Hi!

Well where to start! As much as it might seem strange I want to ‘thank you’ both. Thank you for bringing me into this world, for making the best decision for me out of love and for wanting the best for my life. I got just that! I got the best parents I could have asked for. Just yesterday a lady told me how she read somewhere that WE pick our parents, we pick them for various lessons that we need to learn here in this life. So what lessons have I learned from my Mam and Dad? What lessons have I learned from you both?

To be honest, kind, loving, helpful and to always do my best. I have grown up with terrific morals, beliefs and values. I have been supported, cared for and loved, in every decision I’ve made. However in the past I didn’t have to make many as it was always a joint decision, and opinions I asked for and appreciated! To have FAITH that there’s a reason for everything and to trust in God for guidance and protection.

I can’t say I’ve always thought about my Adoption, about you both and the life I could have had with you but what I can say is from loosing my Mam it forced suppressed emotions and memories to surface, to face and to accept them. I HAVE accepted it, well within my mind, logically but emotionally and through a ‘feeling’ sense I may still have a little to go! But I’m on the right path. I’ll get there!

So what have you both taught me? (Indirectly of course) You have taught me to make decisions with love, to be selfless and think about what’s best for others, to be brave. You have also taught me not to attach negative emotions and thoughts to situations in life that have happened that are out of my control, that I don’t know to be 100% correct/true in my mind & body, to feel every feeling, to voice my opinion, in what I believe in, to celebrate my struggles and past rather than block it out and ignore it.

I was angry, I was saddened and hurt by you both leaving me, giving me away but I needed to feel those feelings to face them, accept them and let them go. I’m not angry anymore, I understand your reasons, I can’t imagine the pain it has caused you both and to live for 30years with possibly feeling guilt, sadness and loss. Wondering about me each day.

The past shapes us but does not define us. WE define ourselves and from today onwards I no longer allow my Adoption to be portrayed negatively, I’ve learned so much, felt so much, understand so much and now I celebrate it. It’s part of me but not ‘fully‘ Me!

Thank you both for being part of me, I wouldn’t be me without you and for this alone I am grateful. I can’t say I love you both, I don’t know you but I know I love who I’ve become and who I’m becoming!

This tea & chat may never happen, I’m not even sure whether I want it to but I AM sure that whatever the future holds, the outcome I’m ‘letting go’ with Love so I can live my life from a place of love & positivity, acceptance and trust.

Thank You.

Love Deirdre Nicole xx

“The Past is in the Past

YOU choose whether You

Want it to Last?”

(Deirdre Ward)