Ahhhhhhhhh! 😤😫

ANGER… Is it a natural emotion? A response to feeling wounded, betrayed, let down? Do YOU allow yourself to feel angry? To acknowledge it and let it out and pass? Or do YOU suppress it, keep it hidden and locked deep down within?

This image moved me when I stumbled upon it last night. What do YOU see?

For me, it’s Anger, Frustration, Physical Strength with an infusion of colour. The colour, what does it represent? Brighter days? Hope?

What do I See? The Tough Cookie? I see Me! I see a female character who looks as though she is struggling and in pain. This is evident from her facial features and expression. Crying or screaming out in frustration and exhaustion. Her body strong, muscular and toned, yet one leg bent, is she stumbling? Has she hurt herself? Despite the visible strength, she seems weak, like she has misplaced her footing and seems in defence. The positioning of her hands suggests combat, warrior-like! Is she feeling on edge?

The wings she has developed with time, trying desperately to lift her upwards, to lighten the load. She has an exterior lightness, a spiritual awareness that lifts her soul. This colour and sense of freedom encapsulates her, empowers her to keep growing, to keep moving forwards and to believe that some day very soon the ‘load’ will be lighter, the brightness and colour will fill her whole being and the pain and anger will have disappeared.

“Bubbling & Brewing

This Feeling Undoing

The Calm & Happiness

That once Existed

Why Resist It?

It’s Natural

It’s Allowed

It Will be Loud

But in the End

You’ll Comprehend

You’ll Let it Go

So you Can Grow”

(Deirdre Ward)

Erase 💬

Wouldn’t it be just ideal to have an eraser to wipe away those painful and hurtful memories/experiences from our past? Sadly it’s not so easy as this.

Nobody will escape this life without having pain and situations that are challenging and tough. Yes of course we will in varying levels and severity but as someone said to me before ‘your pain is YOUR pain’ and there’s no point comparing it to others.

For me some of the most painful experiences I’ve had were watching my mother being ill. Recently these traumatic memories have been filling my brain, I find it difficult to remember happier days and days when my lovely Mam wasn’t terminally ill. I feel locked and I’m searching for the key for those happier moments.

I distinctively remember the time when she was in ICU and we thought we had lost her. The sound of buzzers, beepers, alarms and at times the stark silence that existed also. I will never forget sitting, waiting wide eyed praying for a miracle to save her, for the pneumonia to go away. Hearing her wheezing and gasping for breath.

Cooped up in the box room that is the ‘family room’ alongside my Dad, our fears silently filling the room and not knowing any words of comfort because there were none. Visiting my mother in the isolation room, with my ‘scrub like’ armour on to avoid infections, drips and tubes hanging from her and really not recognising her at all. How could I? She had to wear a black mask that practically covered her face, she looked more like a criminal wearing a balaclava! 🙈 Every second of every day was spent wondering if that second would be her last.

Our bodies are amazing. I coped, I was strong and I was brave. We thankfully got through that horrendous experience and Mam did receive her miracle (thanks to Padre Pio), she lived on for nearly 5 more years. But these memories and painful events live on forever.

It’s only now that I’m realising the impact it had on me, seeing my Mam experience such traumatic and tough times. We all did. These times stay locked within, as hard as we try to erase them, they remain until we face them, feel them and free them.

The key is within, you can unlock them, you can feel at ease and you can heal.

“Memories Remain

The Good times, the Bad times

Some last a Lifetime!

Face those Fears

Release those Tears

You CAN Heal

But Pain

Needs to be Revealed”

(Deirdre Ward)

#UNLOCK (www.unlockirl.ie)