Yesterday I went to see the film “Hidden Figures” in the cinema. It’s funny as in hindsight I believe it was for a reason. I had wanted to go see “Fences” but it was soldout so this was the other option and I’m so glad it was!
Without giving the plot away the film is based on Catherine Johnson’s story – herself and two other African American mathematicians who served a vital role in NASA during the early years of the US Space Programme. It highlights how the Blacks were segregated and treated so unfairly at that time. Separate bathrooms, isolated working/eating quarters etc. I couldn’t imagine living in this world where especially Black women were undervalued, disrespected and viewed as being less intellectual/capable. I’m farrr too headstrong to allow others to tell me what to do and what I can/can’t do!
The main message that I took away from it personally was to never give up believing in my dreams and my purpose in life. That career that I can envisage in my mind needs to remain at the fore each and every day. Some days I allow it to become hazy and clouded over due to my fears, my insecurities and wondering whether my ideas and I myself am ‘good enough’ for it to flourish and become the reality I so desperately want. Deep down in my soul I know it is ‘good enough’ and I know I am worthy of my ideas and skills, however keeping that little ‘doubting Thomas’ away can be a tough task.
Like those women in the film I feel I have had many knockbacks, people disregarding my ideas, not giving me time to show/explain what my programme entails etc Did it stop me? Yes for a brief time. Why? Because for too long I gave power to others, determining my worth, my value on their reactions/opinions. How foolish I was to hand over ANY of my power to another! Why do I look for recognition and acceptance externally? In society I feel we all do. We do need to stop. The only person that matters and whose opinion needs to be listened to is my own. Not the Deirdre that criticises, ridicules and berates herself, the one that cares, looks with compassion and love. The Deirdre that acknowledges how far I have come and how much I have changed for the better.
Catherine Johnson must have felt inadequate, must have despaired, must have wanted to give up on so many occasions but she DIDN’T. She knew deep within her soul she was invaluable, she had a wonderful mathematical gift to share with the world, she knew she could/would make a difference and become one of the first Black women to join the Space Task group for NASA.
Two quotes that I loved from the film were
“In my head we’re already there”
I know I must keep visualising my dreams and aspirations each day. If I loose sight of them, they can become lost and hard to find. I am a firm believer in imagining what those hopes and dreams would already look and feel like right now as if they were reality. This really works.
“It’s hard to trust something you can’t look in the eyes”
I know I need to work on trusting myself. I find at times it’s difficult to trust others completely for fear of being hurt, let down, stung etc but for me even more challenging is to fully trust myself to know what feels right and what I know to be true in my gut/soul. I’m working on looking at myself in the eye and giving that trust that I deserve and know I posess to myself 100%.
We ALL have the ability to “Be the 1st” each and every one of our hopes and dreams are worthy and attainable. Yes we can feel scared, unsure, unable, anxious and have many more negative feelings. That is normal and ok just never give up fighting for what you want and that future you can see so clearly in your mind. You DESERVE it and we’ve only got this one life so make it all it can be!
“Be the 1st
Don’t fear the Worst”