M O V E M E N T

M O V E M E N T

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“My Grip it Loosens

My Faith & Trust Strengthen

My Fantasies Released

My Reality Recognised

My Talk, one of Love

My Pain not so Sharp

My Courage Arises

My Healing Progresses

My Surrender to God

My Life he Leads”

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The Tough Cookie x x

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At times in life it can seem like there is very little movement or that in fact you’re going backwards, not reaching those goals/visions that you have and so hope for. One moment it can feel like everything is on the right track and you’re moving forwards, things are aligning within the Universe and you’re right where you’re supposed to be. This place can feel so reassuring, comforting and safe.

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Other times it can be so unsettling then when you realise that it isn’t as aligned as you had thought, that job doesn’t come your way, that relationships ends, that opportunity missed. This can feel very unsettling, scary and disheartening. It can be really difficult to find the reasons or the meaning behind it. How do you cope with these disappointments?

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❓Do you distract yourself and pretend you’re not bothered?

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❓Do you hit rock bottom, feel sorry for yourself and a go to ‘victim mode’ a bit? Do others need to tend to you and give you attention?

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❓Do you trust that there is some higher power at play, believe there’s a reason and have faith that a better more promising outcome lies ahead? This can be extremely hard to do however I do believe it is the way forward. If I look back on my life I can see how various disappointments weren’t the right fit for me, I was grateful that ‘my vision’ didn’t work out.

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TRUST that today you ARE right where you’re meant to be, that no matter how ‘stuck’ you may feel or how much you believe you’re going backwards instead of forwards, there is movement. The tides don’t lie still for any given second, the sun never ceases to rise and fall so believe that your life is in constant motion and you’re being guided to the best outcomes for you. Pray, Trust and Believe 🙏❤️

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#higherpower #trust #belief #pray #keepgoing #alignment

My Truth 👭👫🗣

I don’t even know where to begin, but here goes…

I am turning 31 this summer and I have lived a full life of grief & hurt, I have been used & disguarded in my short years. The pain & grief felt from so many family, friends and people I trusted & loved, either leaving this life to enter another where they don’t suffer anymore or friends just not bothering with me.

The friends part is fine, I just carry on but the lasting grief you have after someone close to you passes on, is heavy. I tried to deal with it and more sorrow came along and it shook me to my core!

I was brought up to respect my elders, to show curtsy and to be well mannered. To treat others as you wanted to be treated, but ‘others’ have not treated me this way. People I’ve known most of my life. One person in particular, no matter how many years went by, we always crossed paths at some stage and as they said to me ‘it’s like we spoke yesterday!’ To feel safe with someone and have a very close relationship/friendship with that person and letting them know, is kind of a big deal. You would do anything for them, as its being loyal to that person.

Always tell the truth even if it’s the hardest thing in your world to do, you will have respect for that. I told the truth after keeping so many secrets for this ‘friend’ so much so that I was even told what to say to keep lying for them. That is not a close-friend/friend. For that I let people know the truth and in return I was stalked, followed, approached by others, bullied and suffered severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks & extreme hair loss. This person completely broke me and I couldn’t deal with all this.

Over the last 3.5/4years of all this I had to learn how to build myself up, go outside, find work, find help for myself all on my own. Throughout all of this, it showed me who really was there when I needed them. After losing alot of my hair due to stress and not sleeping because of nightmares, it’s been a tough time but with that ‘Time‘ I’ve grown my hair back, took on a challenging job in which I help others and I’m more involved in the Community.

I give my knowledge from those dark times of depression, anxiety & panic attacks to understanding the signs that others are struggling with life and try to help them.

My Message to You:

“Look after yourself!

Life was hell, but I’m STRONGER for it”

Thank You to Another Tough Cookie for sharing a piece of their story 💪🏻🍪💜

Will I Ever Get There? 🙋🏻💡☀️🌕

I have to admit I’m pretty fed up of feeling like I’m on one of the top rungs of the ladder, so so close to the ‘light’, seeing its radiance in sight yet not being able to reach it, feeling knocked off my perch and as if I’ve fallen a few feet downward.

Has this happened to you? Does it feel like that light is just unreachable? Life is FULL of light and moments that shine, people that brighten up those dull days but so many days it feels like the flame is extinguished, the bulb broken, the sun shaded by dark clouds and that light can feel so so far away.

I try to be positive as much as I can, to turn a disappointment into a lesson, to see the learning in every experience but that can sometimes be so difficult, hard work and sometimes I’m just too tired of it and tired of being ‘tough’. Someone asked me during the week if that’s the type of person I am; the one to keep ploughing on, to remain strong and keep going. Yes that’s me but to my own detriment.

Why do we feel like it’s not ok to wallow, to feel sad and down in the dumps, to get fed up of knocks/setbacks, disappointments. It’s not selfish to want the brightness, the happiness, the love and light in life. Surely it’s not too much to ask for? Doesn’t everyone deserve basic needs of happiness and love? Of understanding.

Yes I’m positive. Yes I’m a Tough Cookie. Yes I’m love.

But Yes I’m tired of the climb. Yes I’m lonely. Yes I feel. Yes I’m human.

“Near the Top

Don’t Stop!

The Light’s in Sight

Keep Going!

Use All your ‘Might’

Stumble & Fall?

Have to Crawl?

Feeling Small”

(Deirdre Ward)

I may not be ‘Ireland’s Best Young Entrepreneur’ but I’ve still ‘Won’ my Prize 🌟🙋🏻💪🏻💜

Disappointment is inevitable in life, we can’t always get what we want or would like and at times for reasons unknown to us but I do firmly believe that there is ALWAYS a good reason behind why. Yes as hard as it may be to see it at the time but trusting in the plan/path that is being laid out for you is easier than kicking yourself or beating yourself up with disappointment.

Yesterday, Ireland’s Best Young Entrepreneur came to a close for me. What an unbelievable chapter it was, I’m so grateful for getting as far as I did, for all the opportunities it gave me, for the rich learning and mentoring I received and for the amazing, enthusiastic and inspiring business people I’ve met along the way.

Of course there’s disappointment, of course I dreamt about getting to the National Final with ‘UNLOCK’ and the possibility of winning the title ‘Ireland’s Best Young Entrepreneur’. Like so many other things I’ve been involved in I worked diligently, I felt it was ‘my time’ and I visualised it all happening. Sadly sometimes the universe has other plans.

Yet, sad I shall NOT be! Why would I be sad when I’ve launched my new business? How could I be sad when I see so many people that believe in me and my vision? Why be sad when I’m proud of all that I’ve achieved and the person I’ve become? Life is too short for sadness! This much I’ve learned.

I’m determined, I’m ambitious, I’m focused (most of the time!! I’m working on it!!) and above all else I’m passionate about what I do. What I do is try my best to make a difference to people’s lives. That’s my mission and one I will keep at the fore every single day.

The difference is in doing so it fills my life with JOY, with LOVE, with HAPPINESS and GRACES that are ‘invaluable’, that can’t be ‘won’ and those are the best prizes to win!

“The Prize

You see

With your Eyes

May not Always

Be what makes

You Rise

Sometimes they’re in

Disguise”

(Deirdre Ward)

“Is Karma really a Bitch?” 🔮

So “What Goes Around, Comes Back Around“? Would you agree that Goodness and Acts of Kindness pay off, come back to you? If you’re forever trying to pull one over on somebody does it usually end up with something negative/unpleasant happening? Does it ALL just boil down to good/bad luck?

I like to believe that true goodness and kindness, thinking of others, helping somebody else in a positive way must come back around to you in some sort of manner. Do we all have a tally somewhere that keeps track of these ‘points’ in relation to goodness or perhaps those points are deducted when we are thinking/acting selfishly/undesirably/rudely etc

We all know the saying of “Karma’s a Bitch” If this world is fair at all surely the Universe helps out and deals those cards fairly? What might seem so very unfair to begin with may actually be a blessing hidden in disguise.

When I think back on my life, even just in the last few months, those challenges that came my way, those days I felt like I needed a ‘break’ from the Universe, it had to help me out etc it did seem unfair, I wondered why Karma didn’t seem to be in action but some of those ‘situations/ideals’ I thought I wanted so badly: that job, that relationship, those answers, in hindsight they were not what would have been the ‘best’, the ‘ideal’ for me!

Trust in Karma, Trust in the Universe and Trust that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be right this instant today! 🙋🏻🙏

Put Patience into Practice! ⏳

Feeling Fed Up? Feel like nothing is EVER going to fall into place for you and the life you envisage/dream about? I hear ya! I’ve been there and I still feel that way on so many days. 

If I’ve learned ANYTHING these last two years it’s been that no matter how hard you ‘will’ something to happen, it’s likely that the more focus and energy you give to wishing it to happen, the more frustrated you become and the chances of it happening are less likely! That seems to be what’s unfolding for me anyway! Yes of course focusing on projects/work/targets are essential but at times taking that backseat, relaxing and letting your ‘journey’ unfold is the better approach! 

I have always liked CONTROL, to know what’s expected from me, to take each step in completing something (I’m laughing as I write this because I’m also the WORST decision maker!) Who doesn’t want to feel in charge of their life? Their decisions? But are we really, fully ‘in charge’ of our lives? We’re only 1 out of millions of others on this Universe who impact and affect us constantly so can we EVER fully be in Control? 

Any of you that know me well know that I just LOVE getting little ‘signs’ from the Universe which keep me believing in those dreams, in the ‘plan’ and it’s those little moments that give me the PATIENCE and trust to allow my story/journey to unfold.

It’s Always good to loosen those reins some times! 

The Cracks of my Heart are a ‘Part’ of Me not ‘Apart’ from Me 💔

Sometimes it’s just TOO much effort to talk, to try to get inside your head, to process things, analyse and sort your whole life out! Perhaps even impossible! Then don’t! You don’t NEED to! 

Simply Draw, Sing, Paint, Bake, Exercise.. Whatever medium/approach works best for you, go and DO IT! I LOVE Art, I’m no Picasso; that’s irrelevant but what IS RELEVANT is the fact that I took time out, to sit, to get ‘out of my head’ (which I’ve a habit of visiting FARrrrr too often like that unwelcomed visitor that can spend hours in your house talking round and round in circles!!) A couple of weeks ago I simply began to draw and allowed my hand to guide me, to communicate with me, to tap into and awaken that subconscious mind, that ‘Scary’ place that we don’t visit often enough! 

Ever felt Heartbroken? Don’t fool me!! You definitely have whether it was by a person or feeling heartbroken about a situation or a disappointment you’ve had, we’ve all been there and it’s not a nice feeling! At times I can literally feel my heart sink or those cracks appearing and disconnecting further. You know that saying ‘Wearing your Heart on your Sleeve!‘ Well I certainly do and sometimes I wish I didn’t!! But truth be told if I had to choose to either wear it on my sleeve or keep it locked away, tightly shut I know I’d choose the former! I’m thankful I bare an open, compassionate, loving and forgiving heart. I’ve worked hard on my heart, it’s not always been that way inclined! It has been heavy. It has been cold. It has been locked shut. I wasn’t being true to myself, I wasn’t being ‘Deirdre‘ but I had to figure out and still do continually WHO Deirdre is! Life is ever changing so surely WE are too? 

You can interpret my drawing however you like, I know it’s meaning for me! We all have different perspectives, see what it conveys for you? Draw your own piece today and see what lies lurking about in that ‘other’ mind, you might find you’re pleasantly surprised! 

“Have a Heart

START!

To See ALL Parts 

Don’t ‘be’ Apart

It OK we’re ALL ‘Cracked’!!” 

(Deirdre Ward) 

Feeling Energised or Ready to Drop? 🙄

What type of person are you? Are you a kind, honest, loving and gentle soul? Do you support your friends, give them encouragement and advice, a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand etc or are you jealous, resentful, bitter and want to see those friends fall in life? Could you be holiding the knife that cuts their chord? 

At times in my life I focus too much on those around me and on my external environment. Sadly I can be too quick to judge and want to blame others for certain circumstances/situations etc. We are too quick to point the finger of blame outwards. I do feel I have improved at taking the onus for certain scenarios and will own up to being in the wrong/taking the blame if I was at fault. As mentioned we are only human and of course none of us are perfect but it is very important to self reflect and to take a look in the mirror and point that finger inwards every once in a while. 

When we feel hurt, disappointed, let down by others that is when it can be very easy to hold that grudge, feel that bitterness and feel angry. Forgiveness can be difficult to find. We have all been there. There have been many times I have felt this way and did not take a look at my ‘half’ of certain relationships. Lately I am much more aware and conscious of my half and to give my 50% effort and commitment. This is my problem however, to only give half and to not try to ‘steal’ from the other person’s portion. I have a tendency to try too hard at times and then I wonder why I don’t receive the same in return! This can lead to disappointments. This is due to giving more than my ‘share’ at times with particular relationships. It is crucial to never expect anything from anybody but yourself! In this way you’ll never feel let down. 

I am not saying that we become completely strict with ourselves and start to measure ones love/friendship etc in terms of this strict half and half scale! Of course at times we need to give more or we need to receive more. We are even unable to give at all at particular moments in life when we are floored due to grief, due to heartache, due to shock and other tough/challenging times. Other times we can give 100%, feel full of energy and love, want to express this life inside of us and emanate it to all around us. When we are in this mood everyone benefits. 

We all consist of Energy. This energy may change on a daily basis, on an hourly basis, it may never change etc We are all affected by our thoughts within, by life’s circumstances, by joy/sadness and by all those around us. I am somebody who feels people’s energies deeply and this can be hugely beneficial but it can also be hugely detrimental! When I meet someone with an uplifting, positive and bright energy it boosts me, I feel elated and it always ignites passion and love within my soul. On the other hand if I encounter somebody with whom I sense a low energy exists where their outlook is more negative it can literally drain the life and soul from me and leave me feeling depleted of my own energy. We have to be careful of certain energies and protect ourselves to only allow in those bright, colourful and uplifting energies that will benefit us and our mood. We have to be selfish in order to protect ourselves. 


“Feel your Energy

Flow through Your Body;

Like the Sea 

It can be Calm, it can be Choppy! 

In Constant Motion

It Ebs & Flows

Allow it Always to Truly Glow” 🌟

(Deirdre Ward) 





NO

Say NO. Stand up for you, your life your beliefs and your priorities. Why do we feel we always have to please everyone else and put ourselves last, at the bottom of the pecking order? 

For so long I completely neglected myself, my wishes, my needs & wants as I was forever pleasing everyone else or trying to at least. It was in the attempt to be accepted, to be liked, to be ‘perfect’ and to be loved. 

Well HELL NO not anymore! I have had a very rude awakening. What I have discovered is that once you remove yourself from the role and entity of being the person to ‘please’ everyone else and to go along with everyone else’s commands/wishes, these others cannot cope with your new role, new strength and self respect. They are shocked and surprised. They feel hard done by and feel like you don’t care and lack consideration for THEM! 

It is quite laughable! Some people cannot and will not self reflect, look in the mirror because they are afraid and are horrified at what is staring back at them. That’s the bare facts. It is as shallow and pitiful as this. They cannot look at their own issues/problems so all of a sudden YOU become the ‘problem’, YOU are at fault and YOU are the one that has changed and needs to go back to the old you, fit back nicely into their image of you and your role. They are SELFISH and YOU do NOT have to listen to or believe their nonsense. That is exactly what it is – NONSENSE

Don’t allow another to kick you around like a piece of rubbish on the street, don’t allow others to use and abuse you (it comes in many forms). You have the power, the strength and the ability to STAND UP to these bullies, put your priorities first, your happiness and the life you envisage for YOU. Yes it takes time, yes it takes lots of patience and practice. It’ll more than likely take a LOT of tears, screams and moments of utter exhaustion BUT it is WITHIN you and every little step eventually leads to the biggest leap of faith you’ll take and the life YOU DESERVE.

Say NO today! 

“Say NO

STOP the Show!

The Script No More

In Somebody Else’s Control! 

You ARE the Director 

Allow YOUR Character

To Enter;

Enter Life Fully

Stand UP to Each Bully!”

(Deirdre Ward) 

This Cookie has Crumbled 🍪

The Tough Cookie has crumbled? Of course I have many times and I am positive that I will many times in the future! Who has not crumbled once or twice?! If you tell me you have never given up, felt exhausted, depleted of energy or ‘tired’ of life I believe you are not being entirely honest with yourself or perhaps block out these feelings/emotions within. We are all so used to sharing those happy, smiling photos on social media, why don’t we tend to share any that show those days when life is challenging and we are sad/angry/lonely etc? Too many of us have perfected faking a smile/disguising feelings.

People, including me at times talk about developing this ‘inner peace’ and seeing the gratitude in every situation. Sometimes you cannot see any positive aspect to a situation/feeling/result etc and that is OK! To see the ‘blessing’ in each outcome/life situation is absolutely challenging and somewhat unrealistic. How can we see a positive in some of the most horrific disasters that happen? It is certainly very tough to see them while/during a terrible event, worrying/heartbreaking situation. 

As mentioned so many times in the past I believe everything does happens for a reason. Again it can be argued how and why some dreadful things happen. Sadly we don’t always know the answers to these questions but we have got to again TRUST that some reason will be revealed to us in time. 

I feel like lately life has been pretty challenging and quite frankly shit at times! Too often I have tried my best, faced certain fears, tried to better myself etc all because I do have a strong BELIEF and try my best to WONDER & TRUST in this world and the plan that is in place for me and my life. I try to feel positive about the present moment and the future that awaits me but as mentioned some days I have just had enough, I feel tired and fed up! My new ‘Fuck It’ attitude where in I chase my dreams, express myself honestly etc could easily also turn to ‘Fuck It’ why bother anymore, why keep picking myself up after numerous knocks? 

The reason being I have seen the value to Life. I see how fragile it is, how each moment really does count and how precious it is. I have lost, I have gained. We only get one chance in this life to live it to the best of our ability, love fully, speak truthfully and honestly, give freely/openly and be the best version of ourselves we possibly can be. 

Yes we ALL get fed up, feel like giving up and hurt deeply. However life has so many moments of utter bliss, happiness, joy, peace, love, euphoria that we have to believe and trust that it ALWAYS comes good in the end. 

“In loosing we gain more than we could have ever imagined possible” (Deirdre Ward) 


Are YOU Home? 

Home is Where the Heart is”

Is your heart broken? Are you unable to connect with your heart? Has all sense of love been removed from your life? How can a sense of ‘home’ be found if this is the case?

Thankfully I’ve never had to experience this feeling or to be ‘homeless’. When people hear about homelessness they automatically think of those people out living on the streets, begging for money and sleeping rough. Yes I too think of these unfortunate souls but I also think of those who DO have a roof over their heads, have a home with four walls and comfort but don’t have the feeling of/sense of home. Which is worse? It’s difficult to say. I couldn’t imagine living on the streets and how terrifiying and worrying it must be, not knowing where your next meal will come from, cup of tea, whether you will survive the cold harsh winter etc I can imagine feeling so lost inside, afraid and anxious about struggling to feel at ‘home’ however, as while living in the UAE I faced this struggle and found it difficult to feel at ‘home’ within myself. I wondered if I EVER felt at home within. Therefore I do know how tough this can be. 

With Christmas just around the corner, a time for family, a time for love, for me it adds an extra poignancy to the fact that so many people are so far from family, perhaps have no family left and could spend Christmas Day alone and on the streets. Will the children in these situations waken up on Christmas morning to open their gifts from Santa? 

I read an article last week that stated that more than 2,500 children will be homeless in Ireland on December 25th. Such a shocking and heartbreaking statistic. Again we may be stressing about gifts to buy while these parents are concerned about shelter for their children and about staying alive. 

I remember for The Rose of Tralee questionnaire they asked us to name one person we would most like to meet. At the time I remember hearing a lot about the work of a lady called Eileen Fitzgerald and I was in total awe and appreciation of her and her work. It’s funny how I happened to walk into the sitting room last night right at the exact time a documentary was about to start based on Sr Consilio and her work. Again the beauty of timing! It reignited my goal of meeting her some day and to volunteer. 

I have always been interested in homelessness and have always stated how some day I hope to volunteer and help out in any way that I can. Too many of us (myself included) feel afraid to approach these people on the streets, to strike up a conversation and it is such a sad reflection of society. They are humans. 

Eileen Fitzgerald or better known as Sr Consilio set up Cuan Mhuire, a charitable drug, alcohol and gambling rehabilitation organisation in Ireland 50years ago. Cuan Mhuire provides a residential programme along with other support services for families that have been impacted by addictions and the consequences including homelessness. Over the years her work has helped 75,000 people on the road to recovery and to have a ‘home’ once again. She is their guardian angel and the answer to their prayers in their dire situations/time of need. 

We ALL feel judged by people in life and can become too concerned about how others perceive us/opinions of us. Why? What does it matter what anybody else thinks of us? Sr Consilio believes that the one basic human need we all want is LOVE. So many of us crave love, have lost love and can feel extremely unloved in life. She believes in spiritual growth through self reflecting, accepting the problems one has, facing them, supporting each other and above all else loving oneself and another. 

“To feel at ‘home’ we need to feel ‘LOVE’ 

“Walk through the Door of Love

And You’ll 

Walk through the Door to Freedom” 

(Deirdre Ward) 

Feeling Flat?? 

Set backs are part of life, we have disappointments all the time, people let us down, things don’t go to plan. It can be such a challenge when things don’t go according to ‘Your Plan‘ but at times that’s the whole problem, it’s not always the best plan for you. 

Again in my opinion it comes down to Trust. Do you trust that something didn’t work out for a reason, those particular people didn’t remain in your life on purpose, you didn’t get that dream job you interviewed for etc? Have there been times in life when you’ve looked back and realised that these times were actually blessings and that you feel very grateful/happy that things didn’t go to plan? 

Yes we get tired, yes we get fed up of trying, yes we get sick of being taken advantage of and so on. It’s ok to feel deflated, it’s ok to feel fed up, tired, angry, frustrated. In my opinion what isn’t ok is to keep feeling these emotions without acting on them and learning from them. Do these emotions benefit us? Feeling frustrated, angry etc will only lead to more frustration and anger. 

We ALL have the power to rewire our mindset, learn from past mistakes, change an approach/plan. It’s important to reflect on decisions made, goals, plans etc. At times I’ve beaten myself up for ‘failing’ for things not going as I had envisaged. Again I have learned that this is a waste of my energy and does not lead to anything positive or productive. I reflect as much as I can and learn from these setbacks in life as best I can. I’m determined to reach my dreams, make my life a memorable, exciting and happy time. Life is too short not to! 

“If you Feel ‘Flat’

Have that little Internal Chat

Your Power Remains

Unravel the Chains” 

(Deirdre Ward) 


Follow Your “Roadmap” Today 


We ALL wear wounds. Some are hidden, some are evident and some are deeper than others. I believe everyone goes through life with some hurt and heartache whether it’s self inflicted, in response to the actions of others or experiences that are totally out of one’s control. We all have our own “roadmap” where somewhere along our journey we picked up these wounds. The question I pose is whether the road remains closed forever more or is it passable and the journey continues? 

I saw this quote yesterday and it struck a chord within and made me think of my own wounds. 


Too often I feel the advice that we get and hear is that we must open the can of worms, face our demons and the hurt within us at our core. Yes I fully agree that we all need to face those hurtful times that caused those wounds in order to overcome them and heal. However when do we stop ‘touching those wounds?’ This quote made me question ‘time‘. When do we stop touching those old wounds in order to move on and forget them? Do we ever forget them fully? Do we want to ever fully erase them? Haven’t those wounds brought great lessons, insights and essentially made us who we are in this very moment? 

I’m not sure I have any answers! Personally I feel that wounds remain forever in our lives, the actions/words can be removed and erased but in my opinion the feelings can never totally vanish. It is extremely difficult to forget how someone makes you feel or certain scenarios/situations – positive/negative. 

In saying that I also believe yes it is necessary to stop touching certain wounds, going back to that blockage on the road in order to move. Everything is transient, nothing stays the same, we are always moving and time is always ticking. In order to refocus one’s life, progress and reach one’s vision/goals we must get out of our heads and become more in tune with our hearts/gut feelings. We need to forget those inner obstacles and just go with the flow of life at times. 

Personally I feel I need to get ‘out of my head’. Recently that inner voice has taken more control than I’ve warranted. I’ve been procrastinating and I’ve had enough! I’ve re-centered myself, I feel focused once more and clear of my goals/targets I wish to reach. 

“Wounds heal

Scars remain

Don’t allow a scar

To pull your reins” 

(Deirdre Ward) 

‘Food For Thought’

How is your relationship with food? Do you find yourself comfort eating when stressed out, upset, happy, lonely, angry? Do you find you starve yourself when feeling certain ways/emotions? Perhaps you do neither of the above and find other means of coping with situations, emotions and stress. 

Personally I for one am an emotional eater at times. When I feel stressed about a certain situation, upset for some reason and lacking energy/strength, I can very often find myself craving that sugar rush and fix to ‘fix’ my situation/feelings. Does it fix it? Perhaps for a few short minutes but in the long run; Certainly Not! 

For the last four months I have been struggling with my health. Ever since a child I have had problems with my stomach/gut. I often remember getting pains in my stomach when I ate too much or when I didn’t eat the more healthful foods. Recently I have undergone an intolerance test and have found I am intolerant to some major food groups – gluten, wheat, eggs, dairy, yeast! What can one eat?!! Exactly what I was thinking also!! It was been such a challenge to try to eliminate these foods from my diet. 

For over a month I have been assigned a strict meal plan to follow to try help me to feel better, to reduce bloating etc There has not been a week yet where I haven’t had some mishap and have veered away from the plan! Stress, cravings, the flu, feeling fed up etc have come knocking on my door and I have reached for that sugary treat or that food I’m intolerant to, to ‘fill a void’. Afterall I’m only human! 

Afterwards however I don’t treat myself as a human. I beat myself up for having ‘failed’, for having gone off plan, for having disappointed myself etc This is where I am extremely hard on myself and feel guilty. Who is hanging over me, judging me and being disappointed in me? Not a single person other than myself! I place these high expectations on myself, I beat myself up for going off track, I forget that life can throw challenges, we can all have those days where we get tired and fed up of trying so hard, when results are slow and hope is minimal. Yes we are only human!

Like I’ve mentioned some of us may reach for that certain ‘comfort’ food, some of us may reach for the bottle of alcohol, some may take drugs, some of us may starve ourselves, some may over-exercise, some may harm themselves physically etc The list does goes on. 

When life throws a ‘spanner in the works’, when we hear some sad/worrying news, when we feel stressed and anxious, when we loose that person we love, when we are full of grief and sadness, when we feel angry and full of rage etc we ALL have ways we try to cope and comfort ourselves to feel better and less stressed, sad, lonely etc What I am learning and trying my best to do is to find those ways of coping and dealing with varying emotions and situations in the best, most helpful and healthful way possible for me. We are all different there is no one ‘correct’ way, find the way that’s best for you. Just remember to treat yourself gently and with kindness along the way – I am slowly improving myself!!

“Food is essential to fuel our bodies, 

Love is essential to feed our hearts, 

Free yourself of guilt, disappointment, shame & hatred 

To fuel yourself & feel elated” 💗

(Deirdre Ward) 

It’s Never Too Late to Say “SORRY” 

Is it too late to say “Sorry”? Are there people in your life that you need to apologise to? Are there people that you need to forgive? 

We have ALL made mistakes in the past, we are only human and nobody is perfect. Making mistakes is part of learning. For too long I myself would have held on to grudges and found it difficult to forgive another for hurting me. Words and actions can hurt a lot. However what I have learned is that if another hurts you in some way it is because they themselves are hurting. Does that give them an excuse to hurt others and to let them away with it? Certainly not but why carry their hurt inside of YOU? You don’t need to condone a person’s behaviour that is wrong but you can forgive the person so you can be at peace. We cannot control another’s actions and words but we can control ourselves and how we treat others. It is also very important how we treat ourselves. We need to say sorry to ourselves and free oneself of guilt. I know myself that I am my own worst critic and I can be too hard on myself. 

What I have found is that by holding on to resentments and hurt, it will eat at you and cause anger within. Again, why give another that control over you? Why allow another’s actions to make you feel angry and disturb your inner peace? Let it go! 

Are you feeling GUILT for hurting another in the past? Were there times when you used words that weren’t of a loving nature and were used deliberately to hurt another? Did you loose control of yourself and say or do things to hurt another in a moment of rashness? We have all been there, we have all said things we regret and done things that we wish to undo. We cannot turn back time but we do still have time. We have time to say “Sorry”, we have time to forgive others for hurting us and forgive ourselves for hurting ourselves and others. 

I feel that those times I have hurt another or said things that weren’t loving were times when I was hurting or feeling angry/frustrated about certain situations in my life. On many occasions I felt that there was no other option and the only way of releasing my frustration was to say something. Reflecting on such moments I do realise that there are always options that are more beneficial and that later won’t cause guilt or hurt. Sometimes we suppress things, hold hurt and frustration inside of us for too long that then it explodes and surfaces. 

Which would you prefer? To say the simple word “Sorry”, to take ownership of times you were in the wrong and hurt another or to keep all the hurt and guilt trapped up inside and within to haunt you for the rest of your life? The decision is YOURS. I know what option I choose for my life because I wish to live in peace not hurt or anger. 

“You Cannot Turn Back Time

But There is Still Plenty of Time,

Say SORRY Today

Send Anger on it’s Way” 

(Deirdre Ward)