Lately I have been feeling frustrated with life, situations I find myself in and I have definitely felt like jetting off somewhere to escape and sadly it has resulted in me ‘fighting’/falling out with those closest to me. It is always those that you love the most and that are closest to you that you end up lashing out at/fighting with isn’t it?
I have felt angry and afraid. Two emotions that we all experience whether we like to admit to it or not. While working with children the past few months with my “Be Free” Programme it has opened my eyes and quite frankly terrified me to some of the conclusions. So many believe that anger is wrong, anger should not be shown/expressed, its ‘bad’ and wrong to scream. Their fears are frightening, children as young as 8 years of age fearing that they will become a ‘nobody’, fearing death, afraid that they will have no friends in life. Do we talk about these emotions with children, explain that it is NORMAL to feel this way and that it is ok?
I grew up believing anger was wrong and not allowed to be shown. If we don’t show and express anger, sadness or fear these feelings stay locked up inside of us and manifest in ways that are much more serious and detrimental than if we had screamed or cried.
Somebody told me some advice recently that is so very true. He said anger is a gift. We need to feel anger and that it is our body’s way of telling us that something is not ‘right’ within our body, our mind. If I didn’t ever feel angry I would never know if something has upset me, if a certain situation is right/wrong. Think about a scenario that made you feel angry. If you didn’t have those feelings of anger how would it have been different? Would the outcome/response have been different? Let me give you an example to try to explain this further. I felt angry before when somebody ridiculed me for not being competent/capable at completing a simple instruction from them. The problem was not in fact about my skills or expertise at the required activity but it was a deeper emotion within that person that felt threatened and somewhat inferior/jealous. If I had not felt angry about the way I was spoken to and treated I would have taken this abuse and allowed this person to treat me with disrespect. In response to the anger I felt I knew it was wrong, I knew I deserved to be treated better and I knew I had to take action to remove myself from that toxic situation. Does this explain the point I’m trying to make more clearly? We need to feel anger, we need to feel sadness to unlock deeper feelings within and let them be released. These emotions help us make decisions that protect us, that put us first and that teach us to not allow anybody to abuse us.
I am also an example of what happens when we don’t feel these emotions and when we do keep them tightly locked within us. For too long I would suppress anger, I would hide my sadness and hurt but it in fact was hurting my mind and my body more. It literally does ‘eat’ at you from the inside out. It still happens me at times, I run from various feelings, I avoid facing them or the situations/memories that have triggered them. However what I have learned is to notice the warning signs that this is happening and then I take some measures to avoid it manifesting.
For me I begin to feel exhausted, my skin breaks out, I feel irritated by the smallest things, my gut gets knotted and choosing ‘healthy’ options for food is absent. Once I start to notice these signs I do try to stop, slow down, take a look at what is really going on in my life and inside my mind/body. Does it suddenly change and do I miraculously feel happy and joyful? Definitely not! It does take work, it takes a determination and a want to change certain behaviours in your life and to want to free yourself from those emotions that are causing you pain.
We ALL Fight,
We ALL Flight,
Then there comes some Insight!
Take a closer Look
Perhaps you’ve been a ‘Closed Book’
Your Story Untold
What will Unfold?
Remember, You’re Never too Old
Your Life you can Remould!